Complicated
by Sehrezad
Summary: Calleigh, sitting on the bathroom floor, leant back with a heavy sigh to the side of the bath tube. It was cold but it didn’t bother her. When did her life become so complicated? CaRWash
1. Realizations

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: It's too bad but I don't own anything._

_Summary: Calleigh, sitting on the bathroom floor, leant back with a heavy sigh to the side of the bath tube. It was cold but it didn't bother her. When did her life become so complicated? CaRWash_

_Hey there, Everybody! After I had realized that I'm really bad at updating, I decided to give it another shot. :-D__ So here I am! I hope you'll like this story. I like it personally, at least the idea of it. Please read it and stay with me. And be patient! As I mentioned it, I can't update on a regular basis._

_Oh, and I just have to say it: I don't like Jake!!_

Chapter 1: Realizations

Calleigh, sitting on the bathroom floor, leant back with a heavy sigh to the side of the bath tube. It was cold but it didn't bother her. When did her life become so complicated?

She felt like a mess. It was as if she had lost her ground and now she would be floating in a space, where nothing could be found but fear and despair, without any hope that her feet could feel solid ground once again.

When did she lose her ground? She couldn't even remember. Maybe when Ryan Wolfe appeared in her life. Or maybe when she began to fall for him. Or was it when she decided to give Jake Berkeley another chance while she was well aware of her having feelings for Ryan? Then again maybe it was when she moved in together with Jake. Who knows this? It didn't matter after all as the result was the same.

She closed her eyes for a second, took a deep breath preparing herself for the cruel reality. Opening her eyes she looked down at the object in her hand. Suddenly tears began to pour from her eyes and a smile appeared on her face. She felt happy but sad at the same time. Suddenly she was full of hope but she felt at loss and afraid. The previous nothingness disappeared but a full fledged chaos took its place.

She was pregnant.

She was going to have a baby and this knowledge made her immensely happy… But she wasn't in love with the father of that child… She was in love with somebody else. However hard she had tried, she couldn't forget the man her heart belonged to. And this made her immensely sad. Nevertheless she was full of hope because she sincerely believed that this was her chance to change her life forever and maybe to fall in love with the man who had given her a family. But in spite of all this she was afraid. Afraid of her future. Could she really love a man and have a family with him who she couldn't trust completely?

She was snapped out of her thoughts by the ringing of the phone. She got up and went to the bedroom with the test still in her hand. She tried to compose herself before she answered the phone.

"Duquesne."

"Calleigh. It's Horatio."

"Hey, H. What's up?"

"I'd like to ask you to go to Dallas."

"Dallas? Why?"

"Calleigh, do you remember Carl Baker?"

"The man who raped and killed three women?"

"As a matter of fact, yes. He showed up in Dallas and I'd like to have somebody there to help the Dallas team."

"Oh… All right. When should I go?"

"The sooner the better."

"Right. I'll catch the earliest plane."

"Thank you, Ma'am." And with that he hung up the phone.

Dallas. As if God had sent Horatio with this assignment. All she needed was a few day to gather her thoughts and decide what to do. To decide whether she wanted a future with Jake Berkeley.

**CSI CSI CSI**

Dallas was a bliss. Although the case was rather difficult she managed to think over her situation and sort out her feelings. As she got out of the plane she felt as if she were changed. She was determined to take a chance on her future and forget her feelings which belonged to the past. The feelings that she had towards Ryan. From that moment on she would totally concentrate on her feelings towards Jake. She would give him a chance, give them a chance.

She stepped out of her car with a huge smile on her face. She knew that Jake would be indescribably happy about the news as he had mentioned on more than one occasion that he would have liked a huge family. And now she would give him that family.

She stepped into the dark house and took the way towards the bedroom. Something was odd. She could feel it as a knot formed in her stomach. As she opened the door to the bedroom she realized why. It was dark but there was light coming out under the bathroom door and it wasn't only the light that came out of the bathroom but clearly audible noises as well. She heard the voice of Jake. But he wasn't alone and that made her freeze to her place in the doorway.

There was a woman giggling in their bathroom with the father of her child.

A thousand thoughts began running through her mind. Suddenly she didn't know what to do. Should she go away? Or should she confront Jake right there? Should she laugh out loud or should she break down in tears?

Suddenly she turned on her heel and ran out of the house. She got into her car and leant back in the seat with tears streaming down on her face.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**

_Thanks for reading it! Sorry for the mistakes!  
_


	2. Leaving Home

Complicated

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

Chapter 2: Leaving Home

After having left their house behind her, Calleigh didn't know where to go or what to do. Finally she wounded up in the parking lot of the Crime Lab. She spent the night there with her mind frantically working. She hardly slept at night and as she was sitting in the break room with a mug of tea in hand she felt like crap. And she looked like so, too.

"Oh my God, Calleigh? Are you all right?" Apparently Calleigh's appearance didn't escape Ryan's attention, either, as he entered the room.

She looked up from behind her mug and offered a weak smile to the concerned boy.

"Of course I am." _The hell I am, I feel like vomiting right now._ "Just a little tired. That's all." He wasn't completely convinced but he decided not to mention it. At least not now.

"All right then. We have got a new lead on the case. Are you coming?"

She did.

Fortunately the day passed rather quickly by working and although Calleigh didn't feel quite well, she was happy that she had something else to concentrate on rather than her messed up life. But unfortunately the day ended all too soon and she found herself in the locker room with the guys ready to go home.

The only problem was that she didn't want to go home. Not like Eric, who was apparently very excited about a 'hot date' as he had put it. Among the three of them it seemed that Eric was the only one who did the talking. Calleigh was just standing in front of the locker doing anything which could delay her departure. As for Ryan, he had already packed everything and was now sitting on the bench listening to whatever Eric wanted to say while keeping his eyes on Calleigh. He was sure that something was wrong with her.

He waited until Eric left then he began his inquiry.

"Hey, Cal? Do want to grab a drink? I don't have anything to do so I thought we could hang out a little. Maybe we could talk…"

He left the sentence hang in the air as he waited for Calleigh to answer. But she didn't. She just stood in front of her locker.

"Calleigh?"

"What?" She asked. She just thought that she had heard her name. "Oh, Ryan." It was as if it was the first time that she had noticed the boy. "What's up?"

"All right." Ryan, seeing Calleigh's dazed look, decided not to beat around the bush. He would ask openly what he wanted to know. "What's wrong with you, Cal? You look pale and you were withdrawn all day. What happened?"

"I've already told you. I'm tired."

"Yeah, and I believed it." He said sarcastically. "You know if I were Jake I hadn't let you get out of bed today."

"Yeah, whatever." She said. She really didn't want to talk now. "Look Ryan, I have to go." With that she closed the door of the locker and started towards the door. She decided that she could do a little more work.

"Go? Where?"

"To work." She didn't even turn to him when she answered. She was already walking in the corridor when Ryan called after her. She stopped and turned towards him.

"You know that you can always talk to me if you want, right?"

Calleigh gave him a little smile, which was far from the real Calleigh Duquesne-smile though, nodded a little that turned back and continued her way wherever she was heading.

**CSI ****MIAMI CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI**

The next morning Ryan got to the Crime Lab rather early. He wanted to catch up on his paper work as he didn't like being behind. It was so early that he didn't expect anybody to be already there. That was why he was pretty surprised to find Calleigh sitting in the layout room he had just passed.

He stopped abruptly in front of the room as he caught sight of his partner. She was sitting by the table with photos spread in front of her. She was leaning on her right elbow with head in her hand. For Ryan, who could only see her back, she seemed as if she were examining the photos.

However, something was odd. He slowly opened the door and stepped in. Calleigh didn't give any sign that she would have heard him approaching. She just sat there. Ryan stopped beside her and put his hand on her shoulder. That was when he realized that she had been asleep.

She jumped slightly as soon as she felt Ryan's hand on her shoulder. She was startled for a second and as she looked up at Ryan it was evident for the younger CSI that she had no idea where she was. Only after a few seconds had passed, did Calleigh realize that she had fallen asleep in front of the table. She became rather embarrassed.

"Hi, Ryan." She still sounded sleepy.

"Calleigh. You don't want to tell me that you'd spent the night here, do you?" It was only a rhetorical question as Ryan didn't need to be a CSI to notice that Calleigh was wearing the same dress as the previous day.

"No. I just came in early."

"It's 5:30." Ryan stated disapprovingly clearly not satisfied with the answer.

"Oh." That was all Calleigh could say before a wave of nausea hit her. Her expression changed within a second as she put her hand on her stomach trying to calm it. Without success of course.

"Cal, is everything all right? You still look like hell. Did something happen in Dallas? Why didn't you go home yesterday? Are you ill? If you want me, I could talk to H and tell him that you don't feel right and that you went home. I'm sure that he wou…"

That was enough for Calleigh. It seemed as if Ryan hadn't wanted to end his babbling. She would have found it cute if she hadn't felt that sick.

"Ryan!" Ryan stopped in his train of thoughts. "I'm not… Oh my God." And with that she rushed out of the room towards the bathroom.

Ryan followed her not knowing what had just gotten into her but when he saw where she was running, it hit him. He stopped at the door and waited for Calleigh to come out.

He was worried. The previous morning he found Calleigh in the break room. Then it was early as well but he thought that she had also come in early. After all she had been dragged out to Dallas in the middle of a case. She must have wanted to be up to date. But she didn't look good back then, either. And now she had just spent the night in the lab and she still looked worn. Not to mention the fact that she was throwing up right at that moment. _What the hell can be wrong with her?_

When Calleigh exited the bathroom Ryan grabbed her arm and led her to the locker room.

"And now I take you home." It didn't hit him until they reached the room that Calleigh didn't even protest. That was when he got really worried. He sat her on a bench while he packed her things then led her to his car. He could explain her absence later to Horatio.

A little later Ryan pulled up in front of Calleigh's house. During the ride she had fallen asleep in the passenger seat. When Ryan woke her up she looked out of the window and tensed when she realized where they were. By that time Ryan had already opened the door to the passenger seat and held out his hand to help her get out.

They had already been standing by the front door when Calleigh freaked out. She couldn't go inside. She couldn't stay in that house. Not after what had happened. She didn't even feel ready to face Jake.

Suddenly she turned to Ryan with tearful eyes.

"I… I don't want to be here."

"It's all right, Cal. I'm sure Jake is still at home. It's still rather early." There was something in Calleigh's eyes that Ryan found strangely unfamiliar. She was frightened. "He'll take care of you." He added to calm her, however, he sounded rather sad. He didn't want to leave Calleigh. Not in that state and not with Jake. He would like to take care of her. But it wasn't his place.

"No. You don't understand. I don't want to be here with him." Seeing Ryan's questioning look she added: "I just can't." And with that she began sobbing. "Oh my God. Sorry." She said wiping her eyes. She didn't want to be like that in front of Ryan but she couldn't help it.

Ryan just stood there looking at Calleigh. At that moment she seemed so fragile. He could only guess what could have happened and he didn't like either of the scenarios. About one thing he became sure however. Whatever had happened, it was connected to Jake.

Ryan didn't know what to do to help her so he did the only thing that occurred to him. He took the sobbing woman into his arms. Feeling his arms around her, Calleigh buried her face into his chest. It felt so good.

"Shhh." He hushed her. "You don't have to stay here. Okay? I'll take you to my place."

Finally Calleigh managed to calm down and they got into the car. Once again, she didn't protest.

When they stepped into Ryan's apartment Calleigh stopped. She had never been here before but she felt like coming home. The whole apartment was, at least what she could see from it, so Ryan. The mere atmosphere calmed her down.

Ryan left her standing in the door while he went to grab a T-shirt for her.

"Here." He said when he returned. "You can change in the bathroom while I prepare the bed for you. And then…" He stopped a little to emphasis the point. "… you are going to sleep."

Calleigh silently took the T-shirt then went to the bathroom to change. When she finished she went to the guest room and stopped in the door. Ryan was still making the bed. When he finished he turned to Calleigh. He froze in his place. Calleigh was standing in the doorway only in a T-shirt. Granted that he had given her that T-shirt, but still, he didn't thought that he would see her like that. He couldn't help but run his eyes along her delicate form. She was gorgeous.

"Um… The bed is ready. Now get in there!"

While Calleigh got into bed Ryan went to shut the curtains. After that he sat down next to Calleigh and tucked her in.

"Calleigh, I don't know what had happened but I'm here if you want to talk."

"Thank you, Ryan. Really."

"Now go to sleep. I have to go back to work but I'll be here after work. If you woke up, feel yourself at home. And don't worry about anything, I'll talk to H and tell him that you didn't feel well. If it's alright." Calleigh nodded sleepily. He kissed her forehead and left the room. However hard he wanted to stay there and look after her, he had to go back to work.

He wondered if Calleigh would talk to him.

As Calleigh was lying in bed she felt calm. However, she still felt as if she were floating in nothingness. But now she had a little hope that she would find her ground again.

She sighed. Fate definitely liked to play with people. She was running from a man into the arms of another man in order to forget and now the man, whom she was running from, was taking care of her. Could it be that Ryan had feelings for her? Or was he just compassionate?

She sighed again.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**

_Thanks for reading! And thank you for the reviews!_


	3. Sanctuary

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: I have never owned anything__, I do not own anything and I will never own anything._

Chapter 3: Sanctuary

By the time Ryan got home it was late in the afternoon. He found Calleigh sitting by the piano which was standing in the living room. She was playing with the keys absentmindedly while staring in front of her.

He stopped in the doorway and looked at her. She was apparently deep in thoughts and it also was evident that something was bothering her. He was concerned. He had never seen Calleigh like that before which was a great indication that whatever had happened to her, it was something serious. It made his blood boil just to think about that Berkeley had something to do with it.

He stepped into the room and walked to the piano.

"Hey, Cal! How are you?"

"Hi, Ryan! Better, thanks." She looked at him and he could see that it was true as, although her smile wasn't the same, she got back her colour and looked less tired.

"I'm glad." He sat down next to her on the bench. "And what did you do all day?"

"I mostly slept. But I've been awake for a while." She gave him another smile, this one was more vivid than the previous one and a mischievous glint appeared in her eyes. "I thought I'd make myself useful and clear the apartment but this apartment is awfully clear, Ryan."

"Yeah, you know me…" He was blushing now which didn't escape Calleigh's attention.

"I was just kidding, Ryan!" She smiled at him seeing that he became rather awkward. "I didn't know that you play." She continued indicated to the piano.

"Yeah, my mum thought that it's very appealing for women if a man can play the piano so she made me learn it."

"It was very thoughtful of her."

"True. But as you can see it, there isn't much use of it."

"Oh, don't worry about it. I can assure you that women do like men who can play the piano."

"Really?" The eyes of Ryan brightened up as he looked at Calleigh. "Do you like it?"

Calleigh didn't answer but the smile that she give him made him sure that she liked it. Maybe some day he would play for her.

"Are you hungry?" She broke the silence which settled on them. "I can make something for dinner. What do you say?"

"That would be great. I haven't eaten anything since breakfast."

"Nor have I. Let's see what you've got." With that she got up and went to the kitchen.

Ryan remained sitting and looked after her. Fortunately he had a great view of the kitchen from the piano. He smiled as he watched Calleigh working in there. It seemed so natural, which was strange given that he simply couldn't stand if somebody else used his kitchen. Calleigh was right. His whole apartment was exceptionally clean but his kitchen… Well, it was the perfect definition of cleanness. Seeing Calleigh in there, however, made all of his concern about his kitchen disappear.

After a while he stood up and followed her to help her.

Finally they ended up eating spaghetti.

During dinner Ryan kept on glancing at Calleigh. He wasn't so worried anymore seeing that Calleigh was in a much better shape than in the morning and in the previous day. Nevertheless he was curious what could have happened that made her so sad. More precisely, what that bastard could have done to her. He was sure that all of this was about Jake otherwise she would be with him at that moment. This thought made him said. This whole situation made him said. What the hell Jake had what he didn't?

Calleigh felt Ryan eyes on her during dinner. She knew that he would like to know what had happened. She sighed. He deserved to know the truth. At least a part of it.

"He did it again." She started barely audibly while staring into her plate.

Ryan looked at her questioningly but said nothing. Although Calleigh didn't elaborate what Jake had done again but now it was all too clear for him. It was an open secret in the lab why they broke up years ago. And now that son of a bitch did it again. He cheated on her. He was not just a bastard but a stupid bastard at that. Couldn't he see what he had got?

After a little while Calleigh lifted her gaze from the plate and looked into his eyes.

"When I came back from Dallas I went home and there they were. He didn't know that I'd come one day earlier. He's expecting me for tonight." She stopped here for a moment. She just wanted to surprise him. "Anyway, I heard them giggling in the bathroom… I bet they enjoyed themselves." She added bitterly.

"What did you do?"

"I ran out." She shrugged. "I didn't know what to do."

"Did you talk to Jake?"

"I haven't seen him since then. And to tell the truth I'm not interested in whatever he'd like to say. I've already heard all of it."

"Calleigh…"

"I know, I know. I'll talk to him."

They just sat there in silence for a little while. The dinner was forgotten.

Ryan didn't know what to do or what to say. After a little while Calleigh sighed then stood up and began pacing in the room.

"I guess now I have to find a new place." She laughed up bitterly. "I was so stupid when I sold my old one. How on Earth could I think that Jake had changed? He'd cheated on me before, of course he'd do it again. I feel so pathetic." By that time her tears began to flow. She felt rather embarrassed for Ryan seeing her like that but she couldn't help it. _Oh God, I hope I won't cry through my whole pregnancy!_

Ryan saw how agitated she was and he so desperately wanted to stop it. So he stood up and put his arms around Calleigh just like as he did in the morning. And just like in the morning Calleigh managed to calm down in Ryan's arms.

"You know, you can always move here till you find a place."

"What?" She looked up at him but didn't leave his embrace.

"Well, I have an empty room and I don't mind having company. So if you feel like staying with me for a while, you are welcome."

A genuine smile appeared on Calleigh's face. That was the one which Ryan liked to see so much because it could light up even a dark room.

"Thank you, Ryan." She said before she buried her face into Ryan's chest once again. She could stay like that forever.

She sighed. Maybe she shouldn't have accepted his offer. The previous day she was ready to forget her feelings towards him and now she had just said that she'd move into his apartment. It was true that Jake wasn't in the picture anymore but his child was there. And even if Ryan had feelings for her, she just couldn't run into his arms while expecting another man's child.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**


	4. Life Goes On

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: Still not mine._

Chapter 4: Life Goes On

_The __Next Day_

Calleigh was angry to say the least. She was pacing in the living room.

It was her day off. The previous evening Ryan managed to persuade her to have a little break and maybe to see the doctor as he was rather worried about her. So finally she gave in and she actually went to the doctor. However, this wasn't the reason why she felt like exploding. The doctor had confirmed her pregnancy and she was happy beyond words about that. Six weeks. She was six weeks pregnant. It was so unbelievable.

The problem was that she had talked to Jake. She didn't want to but it was inevitable. After all she hadn't even rung him up since she arrived. So he did ring her up as she had been back to Miami, according to his knowledge, for a whole day and she hadn't been at home yet. _As if he had missed me._ Calleigh thought bitterly. She went to meet him in a café and have the much needed talk. To say that the talk didn't really go well would be an underestimation. Jake didn't have the faintest idea that Calleigh knew about his affair. He was sweet like a good boyfriend and Calleigh was cold like a pissed off girlfriend. While Jake was trying to act like a normal couple, Calleigh did everything to keep Jake as far as possible. Finally Calleigh couldn't bear Jake any longer and spat into his face that she knew everything then she left. She so wanted to hit him.

And now she was pacing in Ryan's apartment still wanting to hit something, anything. Or shoot it. It'd be better… for her at least.

When later that day Ryan was walking in the corridor towards his apartment, the apartment that now he was sharing with Calleigh, he heard some noise coming out from one of the apartments. _Great, Johnny is at home!_ He thought resigned. There was a teenage boy next door who was constantly listening to metal music not exactly discretely. But this time something was strange. The nearer he got to his door, the louder the music became.

He stepped into the apartment and stopped shell shocked in the door. Loud black metal music was blurting out of the loudspeakers… in his apartment. He almost went deaf.

He went to the living room to turn the stereo off and maybe to find Calleigh but he stopped once again in the door. In the room there was Calleigh… lying on the coach fast asleep. He couldn't believe it. After a little while he couldn't bear the noise any longer and turned it off. On the shelf next to the stereo there was a CD box. He took it up. _Arch Enemy? Where the hell did it come from?_ He scratched his head confused.

As soon as the music went silent Calleigh began to stir.

"Ryan?" She said sleepily. "Why did you turn it off?"

"Hey, Cal! Um…Well… It was rather loud." He could see on Calleigh's guilty face that she hadn't thought about it before. "It doesn't matter." He said smiling reassuringly. "We could always tell the neighbors that it was Johnny from next door. By the way what the hell was that? I've never imagined you as a metal fan."

"Oh, sorry for that but I was rather angry and felt like shooting somebody. It calmed me down."

"I could see that." He said smiling although he became rather concerned. He sat down next to her as she sat up on the coach. "Why were you angry? Did the doctor say something? Are you all right?"

"Yes, I am all right, Ryan. Don't worry." She gave him a reassuring smile seeing his concern. He was so sweet. "I'm completely healthy." _And so is the baby._ But it wasn't the subject that she'd have liked to discuss at the moment.

"Then what happened?"

The smile disappeared from Calleigh's face and she didn't even answer immediately.

"I talked to Jake… How can he look into my eyes after what he had done as if nothing had happened? It so pissed me off."

"Did you tell him that you know about him?"

"Yeah."

"And?"

"I left. I thought I spare him the explanation." She looked in front of her a little while looking sad but after a few seconds she looked up at Ryan with a smile on her face. "Can we talk about something else, please?" He smiled back at her understandingly then something occurred to him.

"Is that your CD?" He held up the box, which remained in his hand, disbelief written all over his face. He couldn't believe that Calleigh was listening to that stuff. Calleigh blushed furiously while grabbed the box from his hand.

"Of course. Why? What did you think I listen to? Boy bands? Now that would be gross." With that she stood up and turned the stereo back on then turned back to Ryan with a huge grin on her face.

Ryan shook his head wincing at the loud music. He didn't exactly like it but as long as it made Calleigh relax and put that smile on her face, he could live with that.

It certainly would be an interesting thing to live with Calleigh.

**CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI**

Next day Ryan asked Calleigh when she wanted to move out from Jake's. After a little hesitation she decided that the sooner the better, after all she had already passed a deadlock. After having faced Jake, she felt relieved. Her disappointment and uncertainty disappeared. Now she felt simply anger. She couldn't believe that she had been so frightened of talking to him. Granted that she didn't really talk to him but still… it felt good that she had done it. Now she could go on with her life.

Ryan offered that he would help her moving out so finally they decided that they would do it in the weekend.

The weekend came and they found themselves standing in front of Calleigh's house on Saturday morning. Calleigh took a deep breath then knocked on the door. She felt prepared for whatever excuses Jake wanted to offer her. She didn't really want to hear them, however. She was resolved to leave him.

"Calleigh!" Jake answered the door. He didn't even acknowledge Ryan.

"Morning, Jake!" She greeted him with a not so sincere smile. "I don't want to disturb you. We just came to pack my things. Just pretend that we're not even here!" With that she passed Jake and stepped into the house. Ryan followed her but he didn't have to go far as Calleigh stopped right in the entrance hall.

She just stood there shocked. _He just couldn't have done that!_ All of her things were packed up in boxes and put into the hall. She didn't know what to feel. Suddenly many different feelings attacked her and among them she finally could identify the ones which were the strongest. She felt hurt and furious. Had he ever wanted her in his life? Suddenly she felt sick.

"Look, Calleigh…" Jake began.

Calleigh took a deep breath and turned to face Jake.

"No. I don't want to hear any of it." She said firmly then turned to Ryan with a forced smile. "It seems that we'll finish fast. Let's start." With that she grabbed a box and went to the car.

"You know, you are sickening, Berkeley." Ryan spat at him then grabbed a box.

He saw how taken aback Calleigh was and he was well aware of what that act of Jake meant. He didn't want Calleigh. Maybe he had never wanted her he was just playing with her. What the hell was he thinking?

"It's not as if she had had a hard time to go on." Jake added as Ryan passed him.

"You want to tell me something, Jake?" Ryan turned around annoyed at the supposition Jake's statement implied. "Because if I were you, I'd keep my opinion to myself. Not everybody is like you, you know."

Fortunately Jake made him scarce for the rest of the packing and, thanks to him, they could really finish quickly.

In the car Calleigh was staring out of the window deep in her thoughts. Ryan occasionally glanced at her but otherwise kept his eyes on the road. After a little while he heard Calleigh laughing out bitterly.

"I'm so pathetic, am I not?" She turned towards him. "I mean why I am so angry?" She was really annoyed with herself. She didn't like feeling those things that she was feeling at that moment. Usually she was able to get through them really fast but now it wasn't the case.

Ryan glanced at her.

"No. You have every right to feel angry… or hurt. You trusted him and you love him and he, apparently, doesn't share this feeling. What's more, he lied to you. Again. Your feelings are understandable. But you know what? You'll get trough this and you'll find the good man."

Calleigh laughed again and this time she turned her body towards him as well when she began to speak.

"You see, that's the whole point. I don't love him and I think I'd never be able to trust him completely. And I didn't want to give him another chance at all. I wanted to leave him and still I feel hurt." She looked out of the window again. "I guess it's just my ego. I feel used. That's why I'm so angry with him. But that's still pathetic. I should be happy about it being so simple." _At least the 'leaving Jake' part._

Ryan glanced at her again and he could clearly see that she was really angry. Both at Jake and herself.

"Open up the glove compartment!" He said.

"What?"

"Just open it!"

She did and she found her CD inside it.

"Did you put it there?" She asked now smiling.

"I thought it'd come in handy. Now, put it in!"

"Thank you, Ryan."

After the loud metal music began to fill the air there was no more conversation in the car. Both of the occupants were deep in their own thoughts during the rest of the drive. Ryan's thoughts went back to Calleigh's statements. _I don't love him and I think I'd never be able to trust him completely. And I didn't want to give him another chance at all._ He couldn't help smiling at this. She didn't love him and never had.

Calleigh, on the other hand, was contemplating her feelings towards Jake. More exactly her feelings towards Jake's being the father of her baby. She hadn't given much thought of it yet because it had seemed natural to tell him about his baby but now she really had to decide whether she wanted Jake in the life of the child or not. It wasn't a simple question. She knew that Jake had still every right to be a father but he didn't want her in his life. So what if she hadn't wanted him in her and her child's life, either?

She put her hand on her belly and closed her eyes. She had to decide what to do. And she had to do it soon.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**

_I hope you liked it!_

_Thanks for reading and many thanks for the reviews!_


	5. Lying Next to Him

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything.__ But I think now I can tell that I do own Hester Wolfe._

_Sorry that it took so long but after having written half of this chapter my inspiration left me. But fortunately it returned. (Partly.)_

_I hope you'll like it._

Chapter 5: Lying Next to Him

Calleigh was lying in bed for a couple of hours now but she was unable to sleep. She was lying on her left side staring into nothingness while contemplating the events of the day. It was a rather interesting day to say the least. A day which led to her present state of mind. Since she broke up with Jake and found out that she'd be a mother she was constantly thinking about her future. Her first problem was that she was expecting a baby without a home to bring it into. Her second problem was that she was completely content to live with Ryan and she was reluctant to change this situation. She felt safe right there where she was. It was a rather great problem which consequently led to another. Ryan. At that moment he was the exact thought in her mind.

She turned to her back and glanced at her right side. There he was sleeping peacefully.

_Earlier That Day_

_Ryan was striding down the corridors of the Criminal Lab of MDPD. He didn't even acknowledged the greetings of his co-workers while passing them. It wasn't a surprise as at that moment he was a man on mission. He had to find Calleigh and he had to talk to her, more exactly he had to ask her something. Until that nothing else mattered._

_However, his determination lasted only until he__ found her in her lab bent over a large microscope. At that moment all of his resolution disappeared into thin air and he stopped abruptly in the doorway for a moment to gather his thoughts and to prepare himself for the upcoming conversation._

_He was nervous. More nervous than he had ever felt in his __entire life._

_After a couple of seconds he entered the lab._

"_Hey! What are you doing?" He asked while putting his hands into his pockets then immediately taking them out of them just to put them back a second later. If something, that was a clear indication for Calleigh that he was not exactly relaxed._

_She looked up with a smile on her face which faltered after she had seen the posture and the look of her friend._

"_Ryan, what's wrong?" She asked concerned. It was a twist in the roles after the past few days when it was always Ryan who was concerned for her._

"_With me? N__othing. Why would be anything wrong with me? No. Everything's just fine. Yes. I am fine." _Great, Ryan! You couldn't be even less convincing, could you?_ He gave her a nervous smile._

"_Ryan!" Calleigh obviously didn't take any of it._

"_Okay." He took a deep breath. He had to do it. His life depended on it. "I've something to ask you."_

"_Really? Shoot it!"_

"_All right. So… Calleigh, would you…" Now he was really, really nervous. He took another deep breath. "Would you be my girlfriend?" He felt a little relieved now that it was out at last. However, Calleigh seemed rather taken aback by the question. She gave him a rather nervous smile and tried to say something but she didn't manage. She didn't know what to say._

_Ryan saw her insecurity and confusion and quickly made himself clearer._

"_I mean for the weekend." At this Calleigh became more confused and Ryan realized that he might have begun it in the wrong way. "Well, I think I'd better start at the beginning." The only thing Calleigh could do was to nod. "All right." Ryan began his story. "The other day I talked to my sister and I mentioned that you're living with me for the time being and in seems that she deemed it important to share this piece of information with my grandmother who in turn showed up in my apartment in the morning with the reason that she wants to meet my new girlfriend. Apparently she was so thrilled when she heard about me living with you that she suddenly imagined us as a married couple with at least five children and she wanted to make sure that this will happen and now she is here and I'm totally…"_

"_Yes."_

"_Yes what?" Now Ryan seemed confused._

"_I'll be your girlfriend for the weekend."_

"_Really?" He couldn't believe that it was so easy. "Because if you don't want to, I understand it. Really."_

"_Relax, Ryan. I understand your situation, believe me." She said reassuringly. "I have five aunts in Louisiana who are constantly nudging me about my personal life. So if you need any help, I'll give it."_

When Calleigh offered her help she certainly didn't think of sharing a bed with Ryan. But apparently his Granny thought otherwise. She took up her residence in Calleigh's room and during dinner she didn't miss the opportunity to mention that she had found Calleigh's clothes in that room.

"_So, Honey. Why are all your clothes in the guest room?"_

_Calleigh, Ryan and his Grandma were sitting at the dining table after a rather frustrating afternoon. There was nothing wrong with Hester Wolfe. On the contrary, Calleigh liked her from the moment she took her into a big hug even before Ryan would have the chance to introduce them. She was a sweet old lady but spending much time with her was rather tiring._

_She could talk nonstop. __She was that kind of lady who likes to know everything that happens in the neighborhood and at the same time likes sharing every piece of information that is in her possession. So according to her previous character, she wanted to hear everything about the 'couple' and, fortunately, according to her latter one, before they could answer her, she always had something to say in connection with her question. That way by the evening Calleigh was familiar with the entire history of the Wolfe-family and their acquaintances. She heard little anecdotes about them, some romance or war stories and so on._

_Up until that latest question of Hester it seemed that she and Ryan were safe from the uncomfortable questions. But this time no other story came which left both Ryan and Calleigh moving uncomfortably on their chairs._

"_Well…" Ryan made an attempt to say something but unfortunately __he failed and looked at Calleigh silently pleading to say something. Calleigh gave him a smile than turned to Hester._

"_You see, when I moved here I had to face the fact that Ryan has more clothes than me and that my clothes had no room in his closet. So we found it easier to put them into the guest room until we have the time to sort out his wardrobe."_

_At that confession Hester's eyes lit up._

"_You know what, Sweetheart? We can do it in the weekend. I'll help you. I bet we'll finish really quickly."_

_Calleigh and Ryan couldn't do anything but nod enthusiastically while sharing a nervous smile when Hester looked away. It sure would be an interesting weekend…_

_When finally they got into bed, they were lying on it on their back side by side contemplating the events of the day._

"_You know, it wasn't that bad." Ryan turned to a rather exhausted Calleigh._

"_You can say that. But tell me one thing! Why isn't she trying to play the matchmaker with your sister?"_

"_Well, she is married with three kids." He answered matter-of-factly._

"_Oh."_

So that was it. They went to bed hours ago and now she was contemplating her messed up life. It wasn't anything new as she was doing it a lot lately but now that she was lying next to Ryan she felt even stronger what she wanted. However, the question remained. What does Ryan want?

At that moment Ryan moved. He turned to his left side and snuggled closer to Calleigh. So close that now his head was resting on her shoulder. She contemplated for a little while that she should wake him up and tell him to move back to his side but then she just smiled and put her arm around his shoulder to hold him. It felt good and she could always tell him in the morning that both of them were sleeping. At that new contact Ryan moved even closer and Calleigh couldn't help but took in a sharp breath when his hand found her belly. Though after a little while she relaxed and put her hand on his while she rested her chin against Ryan's head.

She sighed sadly and closed her eyes. How she wished that Ryan had been the father of her child.

The last thing that ran across her mind before sleep took over her was that question that kept haunting her thoughts every day since she found out about her pregnancy.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**


	6. Cohabitation

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

_Wow, this chapter is really a patchwork. I wrote almost every paragraph individually then put them together. Then I wrote more paragraphs and rearranged the previous order. __I also deleted a great part of them… But it is ready now! And sorry for its taking so much time but I never was satisfied with this one._

_I hope it will make sense._

Chapter 6: Cohabitation

It had been already a month since Calleigh moved into Ryan's apartment. He couldn't believe it. It felt like as if they had been living 'together' since ages. Before that he couldn't imagine living with somebody else but with Calleigh it felt so natural. Somehow she knew how to act around him and how to deal with his OCD without making a big deal about it. That month was like living a dream. More or less…

Fortunately she managed to pull herself together. That couple of days after she had found out about Jake was terrible. He was really worried about her. Granted that she went to the doctor and she said that everything was okay with her, and she really looked better, but it didn't make his concern disappear. Sometimes he would see her just sitting in front of her food without eating anything or other times she was too pale for her own good and she became tired very soon. Once or twice he also heard her heaving in the bathroom in the morning. After a month of observation he began to realize what the problem could be with her. But he wasn't sure… and Calleigh didn't tell anything.

So he couldn't do anything but to do everything to make Calleigh feel better. And he did so.

It turned out that it was fun living with her. He fell in love with the Calleigh who he was working with. Granted that she was an excellent company to work with but most of the time she was all professional. On the other hand the Calleigh he was living with was a completely other person. She was fantastic. And he loved her even more. She was adorable when she left her work attire and attitude. He got to know the woman who changed into a pair of old jeans and a worn T-shirt as soon as she got home. He saw her in a way as not many people did before.

As the days went by and Calleigh got used to her new situation she became more and more relaxed and she opened up to Ryan in a way that she hadn't done before. They spent long nights talking on Ryan's couch. Usually they were lighthearted conversations about trivial things, nothing serious, and they usually ended up laughing till their tears were falling. Calleigh even made friends with Johnny which consequently led to the boy's constant visit to Ryan's. The two of them were hilarious when they got together… or really tiring as Ryan could experience on a regular basis. On these occasions Ryan needed all his willpower not to bang his head in the wall. That was the side of Calleigh that he could bet nobody had seen before and nobody could even imagine that even exists. She was able to talk with Johnny for hours about nothing at all in a way as if it would be the most important matter on Earth. Observing that strange couple during their meetings was like watching an absurd drama.

Their relationship considerably changed during that last month. However, for an outsider everything would have seemed ordinary. Nobody knew about Calleigh living at Ryan's as they found it more appropriate to keep it a secret. In case people would get ideas that they shouldn't. But it didn't prevent them from gossiping about how Jake cheated on Calleigh.

They began spending more and more time together. It wasn't a surprise as they were living in the same apartment but still… At lunch time Ryan would show up in front of Calleigh asking if she'd feel like eating lunch together or he would simply drag her out of the lab to grab something to eat as he knew that she hadn't eaten anything that day. After work Calleigh would also ask him if he'd like to have a drink before they'd head home. Sometimes they would share these lunches and drinks with the others but other times they would be all alone.

They became closer not only emotionally but physically as well.

The visit of Ryan's grandmother helped a lot in that area.

As they had anticipated it, that weekend was really an interesting one. That was the point when their relationship took a turn. This was due mostly to the fact that Hester was a very keen observer so Ryan and Calleigh had to be very careful if they hadn't wanted to be busted. That meant that during those two days they really acted like a normal couple. They shared little touches whenever they could, they held hands when going for a walk with Hester, and they cuddled on the couch while watching the TV. And, of course, there was the fact that they slept in the same bed.

The first morning was rather awkward when they woke up in each others' arms but they quickly got over it and when the following morning found them in the same position they acted as if it had been the most natural thing on Earth.

Ryan's grandmother left almost three weeks ago but somehow they didn't give up behaving like a couple. They didn't even notice it.

**CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI**

Calleigh first felt nervous about living with Ryan being afraid of him finding out her pregnancy as she wasn't ready to talk about it. Not as if she wouldn't be happy about it but talking about it was another matter. Fortunately she bore her pregnancy well and morning sickness was a rather rare visitor. She didn't even cry often anymore and she became more and more balanced. However she became exhausted rather easily which she found rather annoying just like the fact that she could just as easily loose her appetite.

Nevertheless she was happy. She had still doubts about certain things but she was happy.

And mostly it could be thanked to Ryan. He was wonderful during the time they spent together. He knew how hard the past month had been for Calleigh. She was used by Jake. She was ready to give him another chance and trust him but he didn't appreciate it, what's more, he screwed it. However, Ryan knew completely well how precious it was to have Calleigh's trust. And she trusted him completely.

She didn't even notice it but she could be herself around him. She did such thing in the company of Ryan that she was sure never would have done if it had been anybody else. She felt such happiness and freedom that she hadn't experienced since she left Louisiana.

However, she still was confused about certain things and whenever she found herself alone disturbing thoughts attacked her mind. She loved Ryan that one was sure and she began to suspect that maybe he had the same feelings towards her. However, she had just broken up with Jake and she was expecting his baby. She didn't know what would happen with anything. With Jake, if he found out that he'd have a baby. However, on second thought, that was her least problem. But how would Ryan react? Would he run? Or would he accept the fact the she was expecting another man's child? Was he ready to be a father? Did he want to be a father at all? She spent much time thinking about these questions and trying to give an answer to them but every time she became rather annoyed with herself. _Why on Earth am I thinking about these things? Maybe he didn't feel anything at all for me._

She really hated this uncertainty and she hated herself more for being unable to do anything about it.

She was afraid of doing anything about it.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**** (**I hope sooner than this last one!)


	7. More Complicated

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: Nothing is mine.__ (Sad but true :-D__)_

_Hey there! I have to tell you that I think this is my favourite chapter... still I feel a little uneasy about it. Nevertheless, I hope you'll like it!!!  
_

Chapter 7: More Complicated

Ryan opened the door silently then ushered Calleigh into the apartment with his hand on the small of her back. He couldn't help it. He had to touch her. He had to make sure that she was there with him. Calleigh didn't protest. She needed that kind of contact just as much as Ryan did.

She slowly walked into the living room and sat down on the coach. She was still trembling. Ryan sat down next to her and without a word he put his arm around her and pulled her as close to himself as he just could. Calleigh leant against him willingly putting one of her arms around his waist and grabbing his shirt with the other.

They sat on the coach for a long time neither of them saying anything. Calleigh clung to Ryan for her life while Ryan held her tight with one of his arms while he was stroking her hair with the other silently thanking God that she was still next to him.

There was a very hard day behind them. Ryan still felt nauseated by the events of the day. He couldn't forget the image of Calleigh as she was standing with a gun pointed to her head. But it was not only that gun which terrified him but the look in Calleigh's eyes as well. She was terrified, too.

_Ryan and Calleigh were called to a crime scene. __There was a body found stabbed to death in a family house. They happened to be rather close to the scene so when they reached there, only the two patrol officers were there who reported the murder._

_After they stepped out of the Hummer they took their bags and started towards the house. They signed the necessary papers then entered the house. The body was lying in the living room._

"_Well…" Calleigh started. "We can't touch the body until Alexx gets here so we are left with collecting the evidence. I start in the living room."_

"_Al__right. I'll take the kitchen. Maybe I can find the murder weapon." With that they went on their separate ways._

_Ryan was examining the knives when he heard a scream from the living room. It was Calleigh's. He immediately __dropped everything and pulled his gun then ran there. But he stopped short in his track._

_There was a man standing in the room holding Calleigh against him and holding a gun to her head. It was her own gun. As he heard Ryan shouting at him he quickly turned around and held Calleigh even tighter._

"_You stop there or I'll make a nice hole into the skull of your little friend. Now that would be a pity, wouldn't it?" Ryan didn't doubt that statement for a second. After all that man had just stabbed another man._

"_Alright, al__right. Just let her go and then we can talk. Threatening an officer wouldn't help you."_

"_Oh, I bet it would. Now put down your gun!" Ryan steadied his grip on his gun. "Alright. Let me make this clear for you, boy. You keep on pointing that gun at me and I'll put that hole into the pretty lady's head." With this the barrel of the gun was pressed painfully into Calleigh's temple._

_Ryan didn't move but took a quick glance at Calleigh. He was resolute not to let that guy get away but as soon as he saw the look in her eyes, he changed his mind.__ She was terrified._

"_Right." He could only pray that he'd let Calleigh go. But it was still the better option. He looked back at Calleigh to show her somehow that everything would be all right then he looked back at his captor._

_Ryan__ loosened the grip on his gun and let it go with his left hand then slowly began to lower his gun not leaving the eyes of the guy for a moment. He was standing there with a faint smile on his face and tightened his hold on the woman standing in his grasp. He didn't leave the eyes of Ryan, either. He was all too ready to pull the trigger at any sign of Ryan not compelling with his orders. The two men were staring into each others' eyes while Ryan put down his gun agonizingly slowly._

_At that moment Alexx stepped into the room and suddenly everything began to happen rather quickly. It was only a couple of seconds during which Alexx froze into her place when she saw the situation in the room, Calleigh's eyes widened at the realization what was happening, and a gun was fired…_

_After that time stopped completely._

_Alexx was still standing by the door shocked. In the room there was Ryan standing with a blank expression on his face still holding the gun in his hand while staring at the guy who had threatened Calleigh. He was lying on the floor with a hole between his eyes._

_Calleigh was standing next to the guy pale as a ghost. She was visibly trembling. It wasn't the fist time that a gun had been pointed at her but this time was different. She was terrified that her baby could get hurt and this changed everything._

_All of a sudden both Alexx and Ryan were on her side. She somehow got outside the events. She sensed that the room filled with police officers and she also heard her friends calling her name but she couldn't react…_

After the incident Calleigh was sent home and given that she wasn't in the right condition to drive herself, Ryan eagerly volunteered to take her home. He didn't feel like leaving Calleigh alone and he wanted to be next to her.

After a very long time spent in silence, Calleigh lifted her head and looked into Ryan's eyes.

"Ryan…" She couldn't finish what she wanted to say as Ryan put his finger on her mouth.

"Shh." Then he stroked her cheek with his hand gently removing a stray lock of hair from her eyes. They locked their eyes neither of them being able to look away. Their eyes told more to each other than any words could. They could express all their fears that they had felt that day, the relief what had followed the deepest despair and mostly the love that both of them felt but neither of them dared to put into words yet.

Ryan slowly leant forward until only an inch separated his lips from Calleigh's. Then he leant even farther to meet her lips. When it happened it was as if everything else had stopped existing.

Calleigh closed her eyes as soon as she felt Ryan's lips on hers. It felt wonderful. He was so gentle not demanding anything just giving what he could.

Their kiss quickly became rather passionate thanks to Calleigh's eagerness and they didn't separate until it became necessary but even then only for a second then their lips crushed once again.

This time Ryan deepened the kiss. He moved his hand from her face and ran it down her side until it rested on her hips next to the other one. Slowly he made her lean back on the coach and he gently lay on top of her.

Calleigh's hands began to get their own life as they began roaming wherever they could go. It felt so good. But it felt so bad. She shouldn't be doing this. She was about to break the kiss and stop this whole thing when she felt Ryan's lips wondering from her mouth first to her jaw line and then towards her ear. She let out a loud moan when Ryan reached to a sensitive spot. Ryan smiled against her skin then slowly lifted his head to look into her eyes.

"I love you, Calleigh. I love you so much." He breathed against her lips. At this moment something snapped in Calleigh. Her eyes began to glisten from tears but Ryan didn't have time to notice this as her lips crushed against his once again. She put all of her into that kiss.

After long seconds she pulled back and looked into his eyes.

"I love you, too." She said smiling while the yet unshed tears began to pour down her face. Ryan smiled back at her wiping away her tears with his hand. Then he stood up and held out his hand to Calleigh.

"Come on!" He said gently and after pulling her up he led her to the bedroom.

**CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI**

She couldn't believe it. She was lying in bed with Ryan Wolfe. He had been already fast asleep for a couple of hours but Calleigh couldn't sleep. Instead she was just lying in his arms listening to his steady heartbeat.

There were so many doubts which were currently invading her mind. So many questions she couldn't answer. And among these questions there was that one which was constantly haunting her since she took a look at the pregnancy test several weeks ago.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**


	8. Contemplating Children

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: As always, I do not own anything._

_Thanks for the reviews, I really liked them._

Chapter 8: Contemplating Children

A few days after the incident everything went back to normal for Calleigh. Finally it turned out that she moved to Ryan, though just temporarily, and after the change in their relationship it didn't matter anymore who knew about it. Horatio had nothing against it until it'd interfere with their work.

After the night they had spent together Calleigh decided that that relationship was definitely worth a shot. She loved Ryan and he loved her. It was perfect. She'd just have to tell him that she was expecting a baby. Another man's baby. It couldn't be that difficult, could it?

Well, it turned out to be rather difficult…

One morning she was sitting by the dining table waiting for Ryan to finish the shower. She didn't feel quite well that morning and Ryan also noticed it. He always noticed if something was off with Calleigh. And that was the reason why she was determined to tell him the truth. It was better to get through with it than waiting for Ryan to find it out.

When Ryan entered the kitchen fresh out of shower she took a deep breath and turned towards him.

"Look, Ryan. We have to talk."

"Wow, Cal. It sounds serious." He said smiling while he took his way towards the coffee machine. He was in a fairly high spirit that morning.

"It is." Calleigh replied in a serious tone which swept the smile off of Ryan's face.

"Okay." He said with a sigh and sat down next to her now feeling rather uneasy. "Spill it!"

"I … Well…" She looked down at her hands which were resting on the table in front of her and took a deep breath. "I… I haven't found a place yet." That was it. She was a chicken. Again. Since they were together she tried to tell him at least about a dozen times. Well, it might be a little exaggerated but she certainly tried. However, finally she always came up with something else to say.

Ryan's face lit up again.

"Is that all?" He asked smiling while putting a hand on hers then stood up and went back to fill his mug. Once the mug was in his hand he stood behind Calleigh, who was still banging her head into the table in her mind because she was such a coward, and kissed her head. "You know that it's not a problem at all. I like having you here."

Calleigh looked up at him and offered him a weak smile.

"I like being here, too."

"That's good to hear. Maybe you should stop searching." With that he gave him a short kiss on her mouth then proceeded to sit down again when it suddenly hit him what he had just implied to. He sat down with his uneasy demeanor returned and looked at the woman next to him.

Calleigh was speechless. The truth was that she hadn't even kept a newspaper in her hand for weeks not to mention looking for an apartment. She kept avoiding the subject of finding an own place but would it be a good idea to move in together? Well, technically they were living together for weeks now…

"I think so, too." She answered before she could complete the argumentation in her head. For a moment she was afraid that she had said the wrong thing and brought a bad decision but the smile on her lovers face quickly chased this fear away.

She quickly made another decision.

She would talk with him… and very soon…

**CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI**

The day passed quickly without any particular event. Evidence was processed, paperwork was done and finally the afternoon found the little group of CSIs plus a lab tech in a cozy little café near the beach.

"Aren't they cute?" Natalia asked while she was watching several children playing on the sandy beach.

At this all of the occupants of the table looked towards the beach.

"Yeah. You know, sometimes I really envy those people." Eric replied with a wishful expression on his face.

"Wow, Eric. Do I understand it well that you are ready to settle down?" Valera asked in disbelief, the children momentarily forgotten.

"If I find the right girl, yes, I am. It was never a question."

"Oh, it's sweet. I can't wait the little Delkos running around."

"You're right, Natalia. And what about our other handsome gentleman here? Are you ready to have a family, too?" Valera turned towards Ryan.

"Yeah, Wolfe? Do you want children? I mean it can't be easy with your OCD."

Calleigh, who was staring at her plate since the subject of kids came up, shot up her head at this. Ryan's OCD. She hadn't thought about it before. She always was afraid of him not being ready to be a father or not wanting to have another's man child or something along that line. But his OCD. It was a completely other question. She couldn't expect him to change his whole way of life. Not to mention that he couldn't do it even if he had wanted it.

Suddenly she felt sick. She felt dizzy so she had to grab the table to steady herself. Somewhere in the distance she heard somebody calling her name. She tried to concentrate and finally managed to refocus her attention on the conversation which was currently going on.

Four pairs of concerned eyes were looking at her.

"Sorry, I just zoned out for a second. What are you talking about?"

"We just asked you what you think about what Ryan has just told us. After all you are now a couple. You might have a say in this." Valera offered.

Calleigh looked at Ryan. She had no idea what he could have said but the expression on his face told everything that Calleigh had to know. She swallowed a large and felt the tears coming. She quickly excused herself and went to the bathroom.

After the door closed behind her she was just standing in the lady's room staring into the mirror in front of her. By that time her eyes became red and her face was tearstained but she didn't wipe the tears away. She just stood there staring into nothingness. All she could see was Ryan's unsure and guilty face. Suddenly a wave of nausea hit her. She ran into one of the booths and emptied her stomach.

As she was sitting on the cold bathroom floor in front of the toilet she remembered what happened a few weeks earlier. Now, after that so many things had happened, good and bad as well, she felt the same again.

She was right where she had started.

But then she heard the door open and not long after it she found herself in the arms of Ryan. She wanted to hit him and scream at him but she couldn't. She just relaxed into his embrace as they were sitting on the floor and clung to him. She couldn't help it but in spite of the fact that he had just broken her heart with a simple look, she still felt safe in his arms.

When did her life become so complicated?

**TBC**


	9. Fatherhood

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: I don't own anything._

Chapter 9: Fatherhood

After that quite embarrassing scene in the bar a couple of days back things became rather awkward for Calleigh. Once again she didn't know what to do and the only thing she wanted to do was to curl up in the bed and let the world go on without her. But of course she couldn't do that so now she was in the Crime lab standing in the corridor talking to one of the lab techs.

"Thanks, Steve, and tell me if you find anything else." She said with a smile to the young lab tech.

"Sure." And with that the young boy was gone.

Calleigh opened the folder once again to read it through and find out what to do next. Of course Steve had told her everything but he was so excited and talked so fast that Calleigh found it rather difficult to follow…

"Calleigh!" Her name echoed through the corridor and her head snapped up from the folder. She was quite taken aback by the sudden angry voice. But if she was taken aback by the voice, she was more surprised by the person whom the voice belonged to.

"Jake." She stated calmly and much more silently than the man. She didn't like his sudden appearance at all and in spite of her calm voice, her heart began to race in her chest.

"What the hell are you thinking?" Jake demanded as soon as he reached Calleigh. He took a firm hold of her arm and stood just inches away from her. However, his voice was loud and sounded furious. "I presume you didn't plan on telling me."

For a second Calleigh just stood in his grasp looking at Jake. She didn't have to ask what he was talking about. She knew it. However, she didn't know what to tell him. Truth be told, she hadn't given it much thought what would happen if he happened to find out about the baby. Finally she managed to gather herself.

"Let me go, Jake." Her voice was steady and commanding but Jake didn't loosen his grip on her arm.

"Not until you answer me. What did you think? Did you think at all?" His voice was still loud enough for the whole lab to hear his part of the conversation. Sure enough not much work was done since Jake entered the building.

"Damn it, Jake. Don't make a scene in front of the whole lab."

"I don't give a damn about the lab."

"Alright." Now she became really pissed. "And I don't give a damn about you. Now, let me go." She hissed and made herself free from his grasp. "You know what, Jake? Go to Hell. You played with me. Cheated on me then let me go without a damn 'sorry'. And now you are here demanding whether I wanted to tell you that I'm pregnant. No. I've never intended to tell you. Ever. Happy now?" With that she turned around and began to walk away. On her part the conversation was over.

"It is my child as well and I won't let you take it away from me." He shouted after her.

Calleigh stopped and turned back. She laughed bitterly in disbelief. He still didn't get it.

"No, Jake." She shook her head. "You are wrong. My baby may have your DNA but you are not its father."

"Damn it, Calleigh. Then who is the father if not me?"

"Me." Silent gasps could be heard in the lab as both Calleigh's and Jake's head turned towards the voice in disbelief.

Ryan stood in the door of the lab in front of which the arguing couple stood. He heard every word that had been said and deemed that moment the most suitable to join in the conversation. His face was serious as he was standing almost next to Jake and gave him a stern look.

"You heard her, Berkeley. Now leave her alone!"

Suddenly Jake was standing right in front of Ryan his fists clenched. Ryan didn't even flinch.

"You son of a bitch! You think you just walk into our life and take my family away?"

Now Ryan was on the point of hitting Jake. He was really a piece of work. He used Calleigh, lied to her then left her on her own when she really needed somebody and now he dared to talk about a family. His fists also clenched and his eyes took a dangerous glint…

"I do believe, Agent Berkley, that you should leave now." It was Horatio's calm voice which prevented the upcoming beating.

It took a little while but after an intense staring contest Jake finally backed away and left the lab. After Jake had gotten out of sight both Horatio and Ryan looked towards Calleigh… but she was nowhere to be seen.

"I suggest, Mr Wolfe, that you should find your girlfriend and talk to her."

Ryan nodded with a sigh then left.

**CSI**** MIAMI CSI MIAMI CSI MIAMI**

Ryan found Calleigh sitting on the stairs in front of the Crime Lab. She seemed so lost as she was staring in front of her. Ryan sighed and went to sit next to her. For a while they were just sitting there in silence. Calleigh was staring into nothingness and Ryan was trying to find out what to do next. It was quite a confusing situation. Finally when he noticed that tears began to flow down on Calleigh's cheek, he put his arms around her, just as he did on so many occasions during the past weeks, and drew her into a tight embrace.

Calleigh wasn't really crying. They were just silent tears which she couldn't control while the tension of the past weeks finally left her. Everything turned out. Jake knew everything, Ryan knew everything and particularly the whole lab knew everything. In a way it was a good feeling.

Finally she spoke up while she looked up at Ryan with tear strained face.

"You knew it." It wasn't a question. "I'm so sorry, Ryan. I should have told you. After everything you have done, after we…"

"Shh…" Ryan silenced her with his index finger. "You don't have to be sorry for anything."

"But…"

"No. As you said it, I knew it. At least I suspected it. And I haven't done anything I wouldn't have done if the circumstances had been different. I love you, Calleigh and as I told Jake and if you let me, I will love your child as well."

Calleigh stared at Ryan. He was so wonderful during this whole ordeal with Jake and their break-up. He was there for her without a question. And now he was ready to take the responsibility of raising a child. She fell in love with him all over again. But something was disturbing her… and Ryan noticed it.

"Cal, what's the problem?" He let her out of his embrace and took her hands. Seeing Calleigh so uncertain, he became worried. Maybe he didn't think this thing properly over. He should have talked to her privately first and did not just impose this whole thing on her in front of the whole lab.

"Nothing, I'm just a little confused here." She gave him an unsure smile. "The other day… when we were in that café and were talking about children… you said something and now I don't know what to do with it."

Now it was Ryan's turn to become confused.

"I don't understand." He admitted sheepishly. "I meant every word. I thought I had made myself clear enough. Calleigh, I want to be with you… with or without children, well on my part I prefer the with-children-scenario…"

"What?" Calleigh asked in awe. Well, she didn't hear a word from his speech that day but she was sure that he had looked guilty. But why if he said he wanted children? "You really said that?"

"Yes." He answered slowly not quite understanding what Calleigh meant. "And that it doesn't matter even if I'm not the father…" Here he trailed off and squeezed her hands.

"Oh." That was all she could say at that moment. She was still processing the information. She should have done that in that café but she was so occupied with herself that she had missed it. But everything got into its place now. She suddenly realized that the guilty look on Ryan's face must have been due to the fact that he had hinted on something he hadn't been supposed to know. She was so stupid. "I'm sorry." She said finally.

"Why?" He was becoming more and more confused by the moment.

"I was such an idiot." Ryan chuckled at this statement and kissed her forehead. She rested her head on his shoulder and buried her face into his neck. She felt rather embarrassed. "I was making my life a lot more complicated that it should have been. And I didn't make your life easier, either. Especially in the past few days. I'm so sorry, Ryan."

"It doesn't matter. The important thing is that we are here now." Ryan answered tightening his hold on her. But Calleigh's head snapped up and she looked worried.

"But what about your OCD? I mean, can you handle it?"

Ryan chuckled again.

"Calleigh, don't worry so much, okay? It may be difficult but I think I've already made the biggest step by letting you into my kitchen. Believe me, after that everything will be child's play."

"I love you." She stroked his cheek then went back into his embrace.

"I love you, too, Cal. I love you, too."

They stayed in each other's arms for a little longer and when they pulled apart Ryan gave Calleigh an incredibly huge smile.

"We're going to be parents." He stated. It has just sunk in for him and he felt incredibly happy and excited about it.

Calleigh mirrored his smile and nodded. At that moment Ryan wanted nothing more than to kiss her. He leant forward but when he was about to reach her lips, Calleigh suddenly stood up and offered her hand to Ryan.

"Come on, Daddy. Let's go, we've given quite a show already."

Ryan groaned but accepted Calleigh's hand. She was right after all. The steps of the Crime Lab are not the perfect place for making out.

Later that night Calleigh was lying in bed with Ryan's arms around her and in a long time it was the first time that she closed her eyes without uninvited thoughts which would haunt her sleep.

That day she had finally realized that life should not be so complicated after all.

**TBC**

_So that was it. It turned out at last. I hope you are not disappointed by the way it happened. The truth is that I was never planning on Calleigh's telling it…_

_Thanks for reading and s__tay with me for the last chapter!_


	10. Perfect

**Complicated**

_Disclaimer: Nothing has changed__ since the first chapter. The show is still not mine._

Chapter 10: Perfect

Calleigh bumped down on the couch with a movement that lacked every grace. Well, it had as much grace as such a movement of a seven-month-pregnant woman could contain. She leant back with closed eyes and rested her head at the back of the couch while stroking her large belly. She relaxed a little and enjoyed the silence that had just settled on the house. She heard as Eric's car left which was followed by the familiar voice of her husband's steps as he approached the room which would hopefully soon be their living room.

Ryan sat down next to Calleigh and put his arm around her.

"Hey!" He said then placed a kissed on her temple.

"Hmm?" She didn't even open her eyes but snuggled closer to him.

"It was quite a tiring day, wasn't it?" He asked while running his eyes around the room which was scattered with boxes. Finally they managed to find a weekend when everybody was free and they could begin the packing. It was quite a challenge to box everything in their old apartment but finally they managed and by the end of the weekend everything was in the new house… stilled packed up. Ryan sighed when he realized how difficult it would be to convince Calleigh that not everything needed to be unpacked in one day. But they still had a whole night before he should convince his wife about that.

He looked down at Calleigh's large belly and stroked it. It always amazed him that a little life was growing there. It was wonderful… and it was more wonderful when the baby kicked.

"Calleigh!" Ryan exclaimed excitedly leaving Calleigh's embrace and giving his full attention to her belly. "She kicked!"

Calleigh looked at him and her hand also found her belly.

"No kidding. Really?" She asked Ryan while she grimaced in pain when the baby kicked again.

Hearing the discomfort in her voice Ryan looked at her and became worried. Calleigh gave him a reassuring smile and squeezed his hand which rested on her belly. Truth was that however unpleasant the kicking could get sometimes, she liked the feeling of it.

"She is kicking every organ in her reach whole day. I tried to calm her down a little but she wouldn't listen. Don't worry, Ryan. I'm sure she'll calm down sooner or later… My money is on later, though." She hissed the last sentence as the baby kicked again.

"Alright." He said with determination in his voice. "I'll talk to her." And with that he turned his attention back to her belly not noticing the raised eyebrow that his wife was giving to him. "Look, little girl. At the moment your Mommy feels quite uncomfortable so what about being quiet for a little while, huh?"

"Oh, thanks Ryan, it certainly made the tr…" She couldn't finish the sentence as the baby kicked again.

"Alright." Ryan said standing up and walking to the pile of boxes searching for something. "I'll try something else. I really don't like the idea of it but desperate times call for desperate measures."

Calleigh waited patiently while closed her eyes and continued stroking her belly in a vain attempt to calm her daughter. She listened to the noise Ryan had made and suddenly from somewhere the room she could hear loud metal music filling the room. She relaxed a little as she let the music wash over her. Meanwhile Ryan resumed his previous position next to her.

"Is it better?" He asked after a little while.

Calleigh opened her eyes and looked at him while contemplating a little a while. After she hadn't felt anything, she gave her husband a bright smile.

"Yeah, thanks, Babe."

"You are welcome. But promise me something, will you?" He asked her with despair in his voice. "Next time we're pregnant, you'll listen to Mozart instead, okay? Or something else. I don't mind but I don't think I can bear anymore from this stuff."

"Whatever, Honey." And at that moment her glanced shifted from Ryan's face towards the doorway where their three-year-old son stood with hands plastered on his ears. Calleigh smiled at him then looked at the woman standing behind the blond boy. Alexx, who was looking after him during the day, mouthed that she was leaving and Calleigh said a thank you in similar manner then Alexx left the family alone.

Ryan, after having noticed them standing in the doorway, stood up and turned of the stereo. During his way back to the couch he gathered the little boy into his arms and together they sat down next to Calleigh.

"Hey, Danny. What's up?" She stroked the boy's blonde hair.

"I don't like when she is doing this." The little boy whined in his father's lap.

"What, Honey?" Ryan asked him.

"Not being good. Every time she is bad, I have to listen to this music and I don't like it."

"Oh, Sweetie, she is not bad, she just likes to move. And sometimes it hurts me. That's all. And she seems to calm down at this music. And, little boy, if I remember correctly, you did the same while you were in here." Calleigh explained smiling.

"Really?" He looked at his mother's large belly curiously with his big blue eyes. He seemed to be thinking about something. "I think I found out something." He stated seriously while reaching out with his hand towards Calleigh's belly.

"What, Honey?" Calleigh inquired.

"I think she doesn't hear this music. She hears something else." Calleigh just looked at his son not knowing where this idea came from. Ryan just nodded in agreement.

"I have to agree with Danny here. There must be some strange acoustics in there."

"Alright, alright. Will you let this subject drop if I agree with you that this music is really awful?" She asked exasperated.

The boys looked at each other then turned back to Calleigh and nodded. Music was a delicate subject in the Wolfe family and the boys never passed an opportunity to give voice to their opinion about it whenever they caught Calleigh listening to her music, which was a rather frequent event in the past few months.

"Great then, consider it done. This music is awful." Hardly had she finished her sentence when she felt a strong kick. "Ouch!" She put her hands on her belly while a large smile appeared on her face.

"What?" Ryan asked her in concern.

"You know, I can't wait for your daughter to begin to speak." She got two confused looks. "I bet she will agree with me in this matter and finally I won't be outnumbered by you two."

"God help us, Danny!" Ryan said resigned as he looked down at his son. "Promise me something!" The little boy nodded. "We stick together no matter what, alright?"

"Alright." Danny said seriously while he nodded in agreement.

"Good. That's my boy." Ryan said relieved and kissed the little blond head who giggled in his lap.

After the disagreement was temporarily settled they remained on the couch for a little while. The silence was interrupted by a loud grumble. The adults shot up their heads and looked at each other questioningly but then they heard a little "oops" coming from Ryan's lap. They looked down at Danny who looked back sheepishly.

"I think it's dinnertime, then." Ryan said with a smile and after kissing the head of the boy he put him down and stood up. "What about pancakes?"

Hearing about the pancakes Danny began jumping and clapping his little hands in delight then grabbed his father's hand and began to pull him towards the kitchen.

"Are you coming?" He looked down at his wife while holding against the little boy's pulling.

"Just give me a minute. I'll be right there." Calleigh said smiling. She wouldn't pass it for anything. It was one of her favorite activities to cook with her boys. They were just cute in the kitchen. "You'd better go before you lose that arm of yours!" She laughed at her son's enthusiasm.

"Yeah, you are probably right." He laughed, too. Then he made a little step towards the couch bringing a still excited Danny with him and put a kiss on Calleigh's forehead. It was only after that that he gave in to the tugging of his son and let himself to be dragged to the kitchen.

Calleigh smiled after them then leant back in the couch. It was so comforting to hear the boys' happy chatter from the kitchen while they were trying to find the necessary equipment for making pancakes in the boxes which took up the greater part of the kitchen. She sighed contently and stroked her belly. She couldn't chase away the thought that life was sometimes just simply perfect.

**THE END**

_Wow, I did it! I really did it!!!_

_It really is a difficult task to finish a story but I hope I managed write something enjoyable._

_Thank you for staying with me and reading my story!!!_

_And for my reviewers, I owe you a huge THANK YOU, too!!! I loved getting your reviews and although I didn't really answer them, I most definitely appreciated them. It was good to see people writing chapter after chapter and sharing their opinion. Thank you again!_

_There were one or two__ questions which arose during the writing, though, and I think I didn't answer them then. Let me do it here, just in case._

_For the latest chapter, concerning Jake's knowledge about the pregnancy, well, truth is that at some point I was thinking about it and about writing it into the story just to make it clear. But I guess finally I didn't find it so important, as you can see, because during the actual writing of the chapter this subject didn't even occur to me._

_Another thing is the involvement of the others. Well, I tried but I can't really deal with many characters. Sorry!_

_So that was it..._


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